totally useless trivia (a.k.a. side effects of an MBA)

on math

• there are 65536 rows in an Excel worksheet.
• the last column is in an Excel worksheet is IV (not ZZ).

on music

• certain brands of water dispensers burst into a rousing honky-tonk chorus of (i swear it was Beethoven!) when they need refilling.

on geography

• there is a remote but quaint and picturesque village situated on the border of Negeri Sembilan and Selango. so do residents get to celebrate public holidays of both states? or do the holidaying people stand at the border marker and laugh at the people on the other side who are toiling away while the people on the holidaying side get to lie in? or maybe they just have houses/offices on both sides of the border so they can lay claim to both holidays.. ok this discussion has got to stop.

on systems integration

• if an organisation shifts premises, the new and old systems will not be integrated such that you get to print reams and reams of draft dissertations for free in the old campus [now wait a minute, this is NOT useless info!]

(by the way, yes, i'm still taking suggestions for the previous post on Flash ActionScript :))

ActionScipt experts.. 'elp!

the hazards of learning advanced design tools as you go along is that you become an expert CPA (i.e. copy & paste artist; term courtesy of my former colleagues in consulting..) and understand only the bits of code you use for that specific effect you wanted to create.

a site i'm working on needs to have certain images rotated (randomly) every time the home page loaded/refreshed. using Flash, i incorporated a bit of ActionScript to get the images to load randomly, based on what was recommended here. that worked like a dream. however, when i added in the bit of script for a preloader like this one here, the randomiser script didn't work no more, i just got a blank space where the image was supposed to be.

yikes.

didn't have time to figure out what the conflict was, so i left the Flash movie without the preloader for now.

any pointers?

(one day.. one day.. i will program an entire site with bells and whistles without having to google "free script" or consult a manual! har har har)

the amazon jungle (hint: it's dense)

today has been an accummulation of very long queues, being caught in the middle of other peoples' inefficiencies, slightly dim-witted salespersons ... and some very very dense system administrators.

dense administrators are funny if it's happening to other people, but not when it's happening to you (though they do make good party jokes.. sorry, my tech support friends! :P ).

i figured a virus/worm must have found its way into the network when i received a delivery-failure email from Yahoo about an email that was allegedly sent from my account to some fake (Yahoo) email addresses (which, on closer inspection, were manipulated versions of emails in my address book). the alleged email sent from my account had the looks of the doings of a virus/worm - the typical subject, content, etc. typical stuff. me no computer security expert, but there was some malicious program lurking somewhere which probably meant that i should drop a short note to the IT guys to let them know about it.

so i emailed IT, requesting them to look into the matter. after all, these things can obviously be potentially embarrassing .. (well, i guess it's more acute in professional firms where sometimes attachments broadcast to the rest of the world by the worm could be partial contents of a confidential document - once received one such message before containing partial contents of a court document saved in the virus victim's hard drive).

righto.

the first email that came back from IT told me that because the message was from yahoo.com, i have to contact the Yahoo administrator.

hmm. did the system administrator write that, or did he have dart-throwing monkeys in his room that day?

anyway, poor guy had obviously somehow misunderstood my email, so i mailed back with a clarification. i even offered a description of a similar situation encountered at my office. i must have written too much. the next email that came back somewhat defensively told me that oh, then it could be spam, which is beyond his control because spammers' machines don't belong to our organisation, and started giving me a lesson on how i must be careful about spam.

ow. ok. no, it's really, really, not spam i'm talking about (yes i think i am aware of what spam is). no, nobody needs to check anything with the Yahoo administrator, whoever s/he is. no, no, no. what's with the defensive front? was it an attempt to avoid work? i think i can identify with a LOT of Dilbert comics today... (e.g. "hello, this is tech support, how many I abuse you?")

gallavanting

have just realised how broke i've become. that's what you get from taking a year off work (i still think i'm mad; am sure my boss thinks so too :-D) and to add to it, go gallavanting in Vegas (no, this isn't a story about misfortuntes at gambling.. in fact i gave up all hope of feeling that luck could be on my side after losing 10 bucks on the Wheel of Fortune slots. that's 10 USD, not ringgit..)

lagging..

a miscellany of post-vacation vagaries:

1. jet lag. you go to sleep at 8pm. someone happens to call you on the phone at 10.30pm and as a result your biological clock somehow goes haywire and you remain awake until past midnight in a state of limbo - while the brain wishes to do something more interesting than lying in bed staring into the darkness, the body refuses to budge from the warmth of the blankets and pillows. and the next thing you know, you're awake again and it's.. 4am. before you know it, 8pm comes soon enough, and you realize you're sleepy again..

2. a clogged ear, and it's driving me nuts. it started after i got out of the surf pool in the hotel in Vegas, and it's still clogged, about a week later. most probably a case of dislodged ear wax. it feels like i'm going around with a finger stuffed into one ear. everything except my voice is white noise. which is horrible as i don't like the sound of my voice. looks like a visit to the doctor is inevitable. meanwhile, the poor people around me will have to put up with my either too-soft or too-loud speech, incessant repetitions of 'i beg your pardon' (or, alternatively, 'hah?', which is more efficient and easier to say), or blank stares when i don't realise someone has said something to me and is awaiting a response.

3. am just so very tired..

4. i guess the knee, which recovered not too long ago, is protesting too. also, i guess that's also cos i haven't been doing the knee exercises. serves me right, ha ha.

so i need sleep, a doctor, more sleep and some exercise. that's not quite how it feels like, but at least i've managed to find some excuses for the lethargy! :-D

somebody send over some sunshine!

results out in about 10 days. yaaaagh!

YAAAAGH! (not to be confused with "YAAAY!")

things we can learn (or not) - a traveller's note from the US of A

1. the toilets are clean and DRY! (you saw this coming, didn't you?) and they don't stink of an overdose of antiseptic. and why don't we provide disposable toilet seat covers here too? oh wait, that's cos our greedy-for-freebies ladies will probably stuff the whole pack into their shopping bags to keep them for future use, whatever that means. (once upon a time, an employee on my office floor allegedly nicked a roll or two of bathroom tissue from the restroom every morning to stock up her supply of tissue. because of her we ran out of tissue in the restrooms at approximately 9.30 am every day.)

2. front-line service people are generally more polite; though they may be a little, er, blur at times, like with fractions (Customer: Could you split the bill into three please? Waitress: Oh ok, so you want it split into half and half and half?)

side rambling (sorry): i realised today that i've probably been a bit too impatient with customer-service people since i got back. a customer service officer of a certain bank thought i was saying "Prudential" (the insurance company) when he heard me saying "potential" (the English word meaning, roughly, capable of being something) and for 2 whole minutes i was repeating my enquiry about the note they sent me on the fact that they suspect my card was subject to potential compromise or unauthorised usage, and he was repeating his statement about the fact that yes, my Prudential account was still on the direct debit list. i hope the bank doesn't use that phone call in their next call-centre training on how to deal with sarcastic clients.

3. you don't get street musicians or graffiti on historic sites. it's rather disheartening when you expect to admire a relic of the 17th century and some 21st century guy carves "Jojo was here, 2001" or "Dodo loves Dodol, 14th February 2004".

don't get me wrong. there's still no place like home. but home sure can do with some housekeeping. ;)

'the internet is for porn'

Avenue Q is demented, insane, wacky, hilarious and ROCKS big time!! Watched it at Wynn Las Vegas two nights ago. (and in case you're wondering - the above caption is from the musical ;-) ) haven't decided yet whether to get the t-shirt ($21.95) or the mousepad that says "the Internet is for porn" (price unknown) or a fridge magnet with attitude ($8.00). all prices quoted in US dollars. ;-) yes, i'm still in Vegas, getting blisters on my heels walking up and down mostly the southern half of the Strip*, and stocking up on the resort's soaps and shampoos so they'll stock up with more which I will keep again so they'll stock with some more ha ha ha! (yeah yeah, terrible terrible.. but really, you should smell the Exfoliating Sea Salt soaps.. they're to die for..)

back to the show.

the two people i dragged along to the show were pretty skeptical until the show started..

"avenue WHAT? never heard of it."

"there are puppets? PUPPETS? dang, i'm not paying 99 bucks to watch a puppet show!"

"this had better be good."

"know what, there's Buck Wild is showing at the Sahara..."

"maybe i'll try my hand at the Wheel of Fortune again.."

"this had better be GOOD."

anyway. for the uninitiated, the synopsis (from the website:)

What is AVENUE Q about?

AVENUE Q is the story of Princeton, a bright-eyed college grad who comes to New York City with big dreams and a tiny bank account. He soon discovers that the only neighborhood in his price range is Avenue Q; still, the neighbors seem nice. There's Brian the out-of-work comedian and his therapist fianceé Christmas Eve; Nicky the good-hearted slacker and his roommate Rod -- a Republican investment banker who seems to have some sort of secret; an Internet addict called Trekkie Monster; and a very cute kindergarten teaching assistant named Kate. And would you believe the building's superintendent is Gary Coleman?!? (Yes, that Gary Coleman.) Together, Princeton and his newfound friends struggle to find jobs, dates, and their ever-elusive purpose in life.

but don't worry, it's no Sesame Street (though you could say it's a pretty good parody of it):


Who is AVENUE Q appropriate for?

Adults love AVENUE Q, but they seem a little, er, fuzzy on whether it's appropriate for kids. We'll try to clear that up. AVENUE Q is great for teenagers because it's about real life. It may not be appropriate for young children because AVENUE Q addresses issues like sex, drinking, and surfing the web for porn. It's hard to say what exact age is right to see AVENUE Q - parents should use their discretion based on the maturity level of their children. But we promise you this - if you DO bring your teenagers to AVENUE Q, they'll think you're really cool.

fear not, it's not a Punch n Judy show... if you're near a theatre where Ave. Q is playing, go get your tickets!

* i.e. Las Vegas Boulevard. The famous stretch of road with all the glitzy resorts on it. Incidentally, before i left for Vegas, i was watching a show on Astro where a character mentioned "the Strip" (i.e. Las Vegas Boulevard) and the Malay translation appeared as "tak berpakaian" (i.e. nude). :-D shall i give our script translators the benefit of the doubt and just assume that they have bad vocabulary? :-P